To all the cautious souls out there, living your life out loud does not mean that you have to reveal your every thought and motive to those around you.
I want to take a moment here to talk about labels. The words we use to describe ourselves matter and labels matter a lot. In a 1 hour session, I can tell more about a person from simply listening to how they describe their life, relationships, profession and themselves then what they are actually describing.
It is my intention to be a voice for young women. I want to help women live happy, joyous and fulfilling lives. To do this I have had to learn how to listen, really listen to the people I’m helping. Let’s take the word shy for a moment. I have definitely described myself as shy before. What do we think of when we imagine a shy person? Perhaps the words small, powerless, weak, hidden come to mind. Now, those words don’t feel like me at all when I try them on, so why on earth do I describe myself as shy sometimes?
Shyness is simply the lack of feeling accepted and that acceptance comes from within. So then what does it mean to be a private person? When I think of a private person I think of words like cautious, discerning and not wanting to be judged.
The differences may be subtle but they reveal completely different things about a particular person. Someone that describes the feeling of shy, feels like they are already being judged whereas a private person views their behavior as the prevention of being held to the light in the first place, thus avoiding all jugement.
So what if you are both? What if you are private and shy? I might offer to a person describing themselves this way that they might just be a super sensitive person and that’s ok. It’s when people want to stop being shy or become less private that the real work begins.
I struggle with how much and what to reveal all the time. I float between feeling shy and being private often which is why creating my new website has been such a transformative journey for me. It was so hard in fact, that I almost didn’t do it many times! I kept thinking to myself, “Oh, I can’t possibly reveal these things about myself.” “Do I now have to decide what person I am to be stuck being because I have written it down and shared it?” “Must I now conform to the words and images I use online?”
Revealing the true you, the you that is constantly in flux, growing and changing can be a terrifying journey but once you take a deep breath and do it, you just may find that it opens far more door for you than you thought possible. You want to know a secret? Absolutely nothing I have put online has caused me to feel like I had to stay the same. What a funny thing to think! But such is the beautiful human condition.
If you are struggling with hurdles involving privacy, shyness or trying to step more powerfully into the public eye, I would love nothing more than to sit down and hear what that journey has been like for you so far. I look forward to meeting you.
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